Starting Over

Hello.

This is my first post in two years. I haven't stopped taking photos, but a few things happened. This is an explanation, not an excuse.

Initially, my plan was to take photos every week and write a blog post about them. I had the idea that this would keep me accountable; that I would somehow push myself into being a better photographer with constant assignments. Unfortunately, what really happened was that I began to resent it. I didn't resent taking photos; I actually never stopped doing that. I resented having to talk about them every week, having to come up with something meaningful to say. I have ideas about myself as a thoughtful person, and my perfectionist tendencies led me to not want to say anything if it wasn't profound.

Silly, I know. But it's what happened. So my last post was in September 2012.

Then, just less than a year later, my mother very suddenly and tragically passed away. This upended my life in a number of ways, and the last thing I wanted to prioritize was a blog I had already abandoned.

But here it is, two years after I stopped updating and a year after my mother's death, and I still shoot and develop film. Sometimes I go a week or two between rolls. Sometimes I shoot nothing but crap, and sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes I hate it.

But, with all the turmoil in my life for the past year, I never stopped shooting. I think that says something. Photography is not the only thing that keeps me going--I have amazing friends and a wonderful, supportive fiancee (another life development in the last year)--but it does continue to feed me in a really amazing way.

One of the most important things I've learned from this, when I really think about it, is to stop looking at my photos as a thing I do to please others. Sure, I still get a dopamine rush when people say nice things about them, but I'm coming to realize that I do this for me. And that's fine.

And it's also fine if I share them, even if they're not profound or if I don't have anything amazing to say about them.

I've changed the name of the blog and I'm abandoning any gimmicks. This is just going to be a place for me to post photos and, if the urge strikes me, thoughts that I have about them. If you're here, thanks for coming by. If you have feedback, I'd love to hear it.

Here are some photos I've taken since my last update that I particularly like. Click them to head over to Flickr for bigger versions.

I hope to update more frequently. Until next time...